Good to Knows
What to Do at Night in Patong

Patong Nightlife can be gaudy, rowdy, naughty, noisy, tacky, disgusting, or delightful -- take your pick to describe it. As the sun goes down the lights come on, the girls and katoeys (transexuals) come out, and the show begins on soi Bangla and the surrounding areas. ‘Beer bars’ Thai style usually have a score of young hostesses (generally female) who serve drinks and chit chat with the customers (usually male). The competition is fierce and the management of each establishment depends on the charms and the finely honed talents of persuasion of the girls to help potential customers decide where they want to enjoy a drink or two.

First Time Nightlife!!
Patong Nightlife for the First Time

Sweaty bodies bump against each other in thumping clubs. Somebody in an open-air bar turns the conversation to politics, and the exchange gets heated. Irish pubs serve Guinness by the pint and crank out live tunes, fiddle and all.

Televised Australian football matches attract boisterous crowds from Down Under in such large numbers, it’s a wonder there aren’t any kangaroos. Longhaired, leather-clad men swap stories in bars done up in orange and black – the colours of Halloween and Harleys.

It all sounds familiar, right? Phuket has a few spots where you’ll almost forget you’re not at home, wherever home may be. But that’s not the norm and not why you go on holiday. You want a different experience; something wild, in your face, unique. Dictionary.com has four definitions of the adjective ‘exotic’, and each suits Patong, Phuket’s party town, admirably.

When I said Phuket has places where “you’ll almost forget you’re not at home,” almost was the operative word; this is still very much Thailand. Whether dancing a jig at Scruffy Murphy’s, getting funky at Seduction Discotheque, or headbanging to ripped-jeans classics at Rock City, ‘Thainess’ is never far away.

So what’s exotic about Western-style establishments in Patong? Hearing local bands play songs from your country better than the original artist ever did. Plopping a whisky bottle in the middle of your table and draining it with a few friends. Having a glass that’s always full, despite your repeated efforts to empty it. Getting a bill that’s often wrong, but works out in your favour as often as not. Being served by beer promotion girls dressed in Heineken, Chang, or Tiger uniforms (the last puts the others to shame).

Imagine your favourite corner bar. Relax the rules, increase the smiles, and throw in a few Thai lovelies. Perfection.

2. strikingly unusual or strange in effect or appearance

Dedicated drinkers may claim that downing eight beers in one sitting is mere child’s play. At Thai beer bars, you can combine that sort of child’s play with Jenga or Connect Four and fill the hours with laughter (or teeth-grinding suspense the teetering tower of blocks that passes as a game drives me batty). The beer bars account for a majority of the hangouts along Bangla Road, Patong’s nightlife hub, and its numerous side streets (Soi Eric, Soi Crocodile, Soi Easy, and plenty more). The hostesses lure patrons with flattery “Hello, handsome!” was selected by most girls after the phrase tested well in a market research survey or mock brute force.

Because no drinking scene would be complete without construction tools, beer bars like to keep hammers, nails, and large chunks of wood on hand. The game: competitors see who can be the first to drive a nail into the tree trunk. Not only is it a good lesson in the inverse relationship between alcohol consumption and coordination, but it’s also the ideal place to make bad puns (getting hammered, getting nailed, insert your own here).

There are plenty of pool tables in Patong for those that like more traditional games. But don’t be fooled by the casual indifference of your female opponent. She’s been playing every night for weeks, months, or maybe longer; sinking shots and clobbering customers is second nature. Wager with care.

Most beer bars hang a bell within easy reach of patrons. Grasp the rope, give it a good ring, and bask in your newfound popularity: you just bought a round of drinks. The details of who benefits from your generosity varies from bar to bar in some you buy only for the girls, in some you buy for all the staff, customers, and opportunists with sensitive ears – so it’s best to ask beforehand.

3. of a uniquely new or experimental nature

She had the body of a Venus / Lord imagine my surprise – Aerosmith. Patong’s ladyboys surprise nightly with shock-and-awesome displays of over-the-top femininity. The bottlenecked foot traffic on Bangla Road at the entrance to Soi Crocodile can only mean one thing: the katoeys (as they’re known in Thai) are peacocking. Dressed like beauty pageant contestants from another dimension, they strut on a small stage or meander through the crowd selling photo ops to tourists. (Point your camera with care. The conversion from man to woman wasn’t free, and they expect a tip.) Sure, they overact excessive hand gestures, catwalk-ready struts, attempts to sound girly but that’s all part of the fun.

At Simon Cabaret and a few bars in Paradise Complex (Patong’s gay area), these transgender wonders put on shows that are engaging, funny, and always entertaining. It’s a near-guarantee that some performers will have you shaking your head and saying, “There’s no way she was born a man!” Really, they’re that good. Simon Cabaret’s productions are bigger, flashier, and more expensive, while the shows in Paradise Complex can be enjoyed for the cost of a drink. Both are very hetero-friendly, with husband-and-wife teams accounting for most of the audience.

4. of, pertaining to, or involving striptease

While not as prevalent as many people expect, Patong does have its fair share of go-go bars (try Soi Sea Dragon). Scantily clad girls (or guys, if that’s your thing) stand on stage, six or eight at a time, bending their knees to the music and wondering what television shows they’re missing. (Actual experience may vary some places are quite lively.) When the girls aren’t dancing, they’ll let you buy them drinks in exchange for conversation, sometimes more. With names like Crazy Girls A-Go-Go, Bottoms Up Club, Coyote Bar, and Playschool A-Go-Go well, you can imagine.

Fun loving people, whether guys or gals, singles or couples, gay, straight,or ambiguous, flock here to play in the moonlight. It’s an all night party with something for every taste.

Just like anyone else, single girls coming to Phuket expect to have some fun nights out without any hassle.

So, in the interests of these visitors, We put in long hours of on-the-ground research – and had a lot of fun doing it.

Here are our top picks.

The fun at Banana usually starts at 11 pm and goes full-on until closing time at 2 am. The crowd is a mixture of tourists of many nationalities, along with Thais and local expats. This disco has somehow become the most famous in Phuket among Japanese tourists, and features in almost every Japanese-language tour guide and magazine about Phuket.

I asked Ayumi from Tokyo what she thought of it. “It’s a good place to make new friends,” she said. “One night a week – Wednesday, I think – they have a theme night called ‘Disco on the Beach’. They bring the beach into the disco. We were dancing on sand. It was a lot of fun.”

Banana charges 400 baht per person entry fee, which includes two complementary drinks.

Tiger Disco is part of the Tiger complex in Patong’s famous Soi Bangla. You’ll have no trouble finding it – walk along the street, going away from the beach, and it’s on the left side about two thirds of the way along. It’s the one with the giant tiger head above it.

The complex has two levels. At ground level are bars pumping out loud music, with pole dancers and snooker tables. The disco is on the floor above. This place is brash, bold and loud, which means it’s not to everyone’s taste. But even if it’s not your kind of place it’s still worth a visit. “I thought at first it was a bit tacky seeing girls dressed in tiger outfits dancing around chrome poles,” said Jenny from Sydney. “It’s certainly different from the type of disco that we have back home. But it’s interesting to see the place.”

Who knows? Tiger may actually appeal to you. You’ll never know till you try it it. The entry fee is 300 baht per person, which includes one complementary drink.

Safari is a Phuket icon, one of the island’s favorite venues for night owls. Many people start off the night somewhere else but wind up at Safari, staying there until late, late, late. As a result, it’s pretty much guaranteed that the place will be jumping any night you go there, provided you arrive no earlier than midnight.

Safari is a huge complex, with all styles of music from both deejays and live bands. It’s the perfect place for anyone who enjoys dancing, singing (yes, you can step up to the mic at Safari) or rock climbing (yes, they have a climbing wall), but perhaps not all at the same time.

Or you can just hang out meeting people and having a fine time until waaaaay past the time that Mother always said you should be in bed. When you get hungry, there are also two restaurants in the complex. To fit with the name, décor is jungle primitive, with fiberglass rocks and lots of greenery.

Safari is at the top of the first hill between Patong and Karon, not far from Le Méridien Phuket Beach Resort. Because of its distance from Patong, and its rather isolated location, it’s wise to travel there and back with a group of people. You’ll need transport to get there. Be aware that tuk-tuks tend to charge one rate to go there and another, much higher, rate to come back – they know you have no choice!

This is possibly the most talked-about disco on the island. It’s been open just over a year and has the latest in sound and light equipment. The atmosphere here is less Thai and more like the big discos in Europe or the States. Expert deejays play everything from the latest house, jazz or hip hop sounds to hits from the ’70s and ’80s.

If you’re feeling particularly bold, there’s a small stage in the middle of the dance floor where you can get up and get jiggy. Above the dance floor, a wide balcony runs around all four walls. There’s a bar up there, and comfortable seating, from which you can watch other people making fools of themselves on the stage.

At most other discos in Phuket people turn up in shorts and T-shirts, but for some reason, perhaps because it’s a classy place, people who go to Seduction tend to dress up. There’s one other big advantage, Danielle Chupak from Hong Kong told me: the toilets are squeaky-clean. “For women, if you go somewhere that has a terrible toilet, it puts you off. But at Seduction, the toilet is nice, and very clean,” she said.

Also worth a visit when you’re in Patong is Rock City. It’s easy to find, just in front of the Club Andaman Beach Resort.

The clue is the huge neon guitar outside. Rock City is for all rock fans, and features “tribute” bands playing the best of Bon Jovi, Metallica, U2, Oasis and more every night.

The place also serves up burgers, burritos and spare ribs just the right kind of thing to lay down a solid foundation for the regular Kamikaze drinking competitions for girls only.

Club Lime is a little to the south of Rock City, on the same side of the road. Look out for the sign – a huge slice of lime (what else?) – and lime-coloured lighting upstairs. This place is a sophisticated sort of 3-in-1 venue: nightclub, bar and restaurant – with very good food.

Music is mostly House, Techno or Tribal, played by the club’s own deejays or by visiting stars such as Thailand’s own superstar, DJ Nakadia. Club Lime is also developing a tasty line in drum-and-bass, the only place in Phuket featuring this music.

Open from 6 pm till late. Thursday’s ladies’ night – free entry and a free drink for girls only. On other nights expect to pay 200 baht, or more if there’s a special act.

by Rungtip Hongjakpet Izmen

Bars: Opening Hours

In Bangla most bars don't open before nine o'clock in the evening. The official closing time is 1 am for bars/pubs and 2 am. for discos.

In recent years the authorities have cracked down on places operating later, but it's still possible to find places open until 5-6 am. Just ask around at the bars to find the late night venues. Just remember that these places are circumventing the law, so there is a small chance that they will be raided by police, with patrons facing ID checks and urine tests for drugs.

Bar Girls in Patong - First Dates

Girlie bars in Patong (mostly bar beers are girlie bars) have up to 10 "bar hostesses" willing to go with tourists for money. Many girls are looking for a boyfriend, some for a short time, others longer term - mainly as a financial asset. If you get on well, she may well accompany you on trips around Thailand, providing fun company and a local insight among the general services, but you will have to negotiate a rate first. You will also have to pay a "bar fine" each time "for a date" After that, it's up to you!

Bar fine - This is the fee to cover a bar's 'loss' when taking a girl out of the place for a 'date' and can vary with each establishment. Usually 200 -500 Baht for the evening. If you're planning to spend a few days or longer with the lady, you'll need to negotiate the fine with the bar. This does not cover her fees which would be discussed directly. Night rates vary between 1,000 - 4,000 Baht and like everything else, are negotiable.

Bar Girls in Patong - A few Tips

It's generally good advice to stay with a girl for only one night. This avoids the situation where after two nights, she considers you her boyfriend. This can produce jealous tantrums if you look, or are tempted by other girls - even if you are paying!

If you decide to take her on trips etc., be prepared to pay for meals, tickets and extras. A gift will be expected, usually anything gold - bracelet, necklace, etc., Gold is both a status symbol and an insurance when the money runs out. The pawn shop is never far away.

You can be sure you'll be asked for your Email address, so she can keep in touch with you, in case her family needs money. She will keep in touch with you, but be aware she may get help from friends or other visitors to write back, so don't write anything you don't want others to read. Sooner or later you may receive an e-mail requesting financial help because her mother is sick, or the family buffalo has died. The same Email will reach several boyfriends - not just you. And that's the start.

The above is general advice based on general experience, not every working girl is the same. You can have lots of fun and a great time, if you remember that working girls work for money!

Drink Price Guidelines

Beer (Singha, Chang) - Local beer 35-60 Baht;
International Beer (Heineken) From 35 to 70-90 Baht. Prices 100-140 Baht per bottle in discos and western upscale places.
Cocktails - Around 100-180 Baht. Some stratospheric prices (300baht ++) depending on venue.
Admission - Most places have free entry, except for some of the discos, which have a cover charge 100 or 200 Baht. The fee usually covers one or two drinks - either alcoholic or non-alcoholic.
Happy Hours tend to come and go according to the whim of the bar owner and how busy the bar is. Happy hours, usually from 5-7 pm or sometimes extending to 8-9 pm, offer up to 50% discounts on cocktails or beer or sometimes "two for one" deals. Check for signs outside the bar since it changes all the time.

Getting Around at Night

At night Soi Bangla turns into a pedestrianised walking street with Tuk Tuks and motorcycle taxis at both ends to provide a ride home. Prices are negotiable and tend to increase with the number of passengers, the distance and the lateness of the hour. Many Tuk Tuks charge excessive and inflated rates so it's best to check with other visitors and locals first. ALWAYS agree the price before you get in as it's difficult to negotiate after the journey.

Both motorcycle taxis and Tuk Tuks can be flagged down anywhere along any of the streets. Head for Banana disco on the Beach Rd (Thaveewong Rd) where most of the Tuk Tuks and motorcycle taxis stay. Or at the other end of Bangla (near Tai Pan.)

While Patong is pretty safe for women. It's not advisable to travel alone by Tuk-Tuk or motorbike late at night.

Dangers & Annoyances

The streets of Patong are quite safe at night. In fact, safer than in many Western cities. Incidences of violence against tourists are very rare, though there have been cases of purse snatching and pickpocketing. The seemingly friendly Katoey (ladyboys) are infamous for lifting wallets and having sudden bursts of nasty behaviour, so be extra careful around these 'ladies'. Just use your common sense and make sure your belongings are secure. If you take photos of the Katoeys, be prepared to pay or it could get nasty. In discos, it's rare to see any problems as the crowd is very international and not obsessed with drinking themselves to oblivion.

The most common visitor complaint is of harassment by local touts trying to lure people into anything from Indian restaurants to timeshare presentations to tailor shops to Tuk-Tuk tours. Ignoring these characters usually does the trick. Women are generally safe to go out at night, though care should be taken travelling alone in Tuk Tuks and motorcycles.

Police

There's a Police Information Centre at the bottom of Soi Bangla on the Beach Road